Anxiety Fix: Poetry

My shoulders ache
with the strain
of a hundred different
fears,
all blasting themselves
into cognition
in one synoptic flare

My system thrives on
this shit,
needs to have the
cranked-up juice of
adrenaline
And there's absolute
no reason to have it,
yet it's always there

I'm sorry,
did I say something
you found odd?
Chalk it up to
the post-traumatic stress
of a fucked, chaotic
life

I've seen too many
streets with sorrows
and tears,
too many faces with
dark passions
for inflicting pain

And it scares me,
so much that I'm
hooked on the fear,
choking on the fear,
wallowing in the fear

Shuddering in my kitchen,
although I'm safe
from nearly every twist
of horrendous fates

This world keeps
pressing in on my windows,
too close, too close,
and my pulse skips
if I even contemplate
going outside

The world keeps
pressing in on my head,
smothering me with its
loudness
There aren't enough pillows
to drown it out
and the chorus keeps
growing day by day

My body has quit on me,
shurgging its shoulders
in defeat
becasue my eyes keep
burning themselves to
cinders in my vain
attempt to finally SEE

And all this trying,
just to make a first
impression
will surely be all for
naught if I'm a
scarecrow in my suit

These dalliances
with things I'd like
to run away from,
like how sometimes
the cries of children
chill me to the bone

Because it's all
random here when
you're typing without
thinking
And the words don't
go away into some
internet black

And I can't just
calm down,
calm down,
calm down
I'm breathing too
fast, too hard,
it's too strange
just to live and
breathe with
all the world's
pressure

that I create
all by myself...

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